– Say hey illinoisappellatelawyerblog. Where have you been? What have you been doing?
– Oh, over there. Picking daisies, chewing tobacco, napping, hiding. You know, getting better.
– Better than what?
– Just better.
– We thought you were closing shop.
– Oh, no. Can’t do that. You guys need me. We’re friends, allies, colleagues, collaborators, cohorts, chums.
– Okay okay. But listen, we were worried.
– I was worried too.
– What were you worried about?
– Everything. World peace, nuclear disaster, appellate jurisdiction. I was born to worry.
– Seriously, we do need you. Standard of review, mootness, final orders, and all those rules. Nobody else writes about that stuff. At least not in a way we care to read.
– Ah, kind words. Flattery accepted. No way I’d up and leave.
– Well don’t do that to us anymore. If you need a nap or you want to chew just go sit on the couch and do it. All right?
– Gotcha, my friend.
Updated: